Too Much TV: Your TV Talking Points For Tuesday, May 14th, 2024

A lot of television and streaming news today, including upfronts from Disney and Amazon

Here's everything you need to know about the world of television for Tuesday, May 14th, 2024:

NO, IT'S NOT THE 'GREAT CABLE REBUNDLING'
At an investor's conference on Tuesday, Comcast CEO Brian Roberts announced the company was close to launching a discounted package of streamers that includes Peacock, Netflix and Apple TV+:

Called StreamSaver, the bundle will be sold at a deep discount compared with subscribing to all three services separately, Mr. Roberts said. He didn’t specify a price for the service, which is expected to debut later this month.

And just like clockwork, industry pundits and reporters are cranking out pieces about the "great rebundling." I won't recap that again, I've been pushing back against that narrative for months and did another deep dive in one of last week's newsletters:

And like clockwork, every time a streamer raises its price or cuts a distribution partnership, a flurry of think pieces get posted arguing that "hey, all of this streaming stuff is going to cost as much as a cable package" and "all of these different streaming services are starting to feel like a new bundle."

But once again, that's nothing like a cable bundle. If it was, subscribers would have to subscribe to every major streaming service in one package and wouldn't be able to drop any individual streamers. Which is the complete opposite of the reality of the streaming business.

Shared billing is not "reinventing the cable bundle." Customers can still purchase the services separately, much as they can buy only the products they want in a grocery store. And no one walks out of a grocery store with a bag of food and proclaims "I'm rebundling dinner!"

This is one of those arguments that I seem to be having every week. And as I've said before, the big takeaway from these deals is that it proves just expensive customer acquisition costs are for streamers. Because if your business is losing money (or even breaking even), you don't want to make a deal that lowers your average revenue per subscriber unless it lowers your costs enough somewhere else in order to make the deal net revenue positive.

I will say that if any of you are reporters (and many of you are), I am more than willing to provide my point of view for any piece you're working on. And the same goes for any of you looking for a slightly contrarian podcast guest.

IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, IT'S NEW TO YOU
Back in the summer of 1998, NBC ran a promotional campaign that tried to put a positive spin on summer reruns. "If You Haven't Seen It, It's New To You," argued that sure, the network is running a bunch of reruns of your favorite shows. But since you likely missed some of them when they first aired, they're really new episodes - at least to you.

That idea continues to play out in all sorts of amusing ways as the industry changes and I noticed one variation this morning.

I received an email blast from Netflix, highlighting a movie that is premiering on the streaming service on Thursday:

I was a bit flummoxed, given that I should have a handle on all of the new stuff premiering on Netflix. And I didn't get much more help when I visited the Netflix page for the movie, which notably didn't mention the release date anywhere:

And as it turns out, Upgrade is actually an Australian movie from 2018. But Netflix has done its best not to highlight that fact, I suspect in large part because it's an obscure, fairly recent film that many subscribers will just assume is current because they hadn't heard about it until now.

In other words, if you haven't seen it, it's new to you.

MORE ALLEGATIONS AGAINST DAN SCHNEIDER
Business Insider's Kate Taylor has a new story alleging that the former Nickelodeon producer allegedly showed porn, initiated phone sex and fondled the breasts of an All That actress when she was a teenager.

The article is behind a paywall, which means that the trades are aggregating their own versions of the stories by essentially just copying the highlights of the story on their own site.

Two things about this piece in Deadline were amusing to me. First, while the piece mentioned Business Insider, there was no link to the actual story. 

Second, it included a statement from Schneider, and I literally laughed out loud when I read it. Because the phrase "in most cases" is a doing a lot of work here:

In a statement to Deadline, Dan Schneider calls Denberg’s claims “wildly exaggerated and, in most cases, false.”

“The fact that an Executive Producer of Quiet on Set would pursue allegations regarding what may have happened between adults nearly thirty years ago — only a week after I filed a defamation lawsuit accusing Quiet on Set of being intentionally false and misleading — seems more than coincidental,” reads the statement.

Schneider admits to having “made mistakes and exhibited poor judgment as a leader” at the early stages of his career, adding, “If I did that with respect to Lori Beth, I sincerely apologize to her. But I cannot apologize for things I did not do.”

FWIW, I wish Deadline would have just included the entire statement from Schneider, rather than breaking it into what seems to be slightly edited paragraphs.

AMAZON ROLLS OUT A WIDE-RANGING SLATE OF NEW PROGRAMS, RENEWALS
Amazon had its upfront presentation this morning and it announced an expansive number of high-profile projects:

* Prime Video has ordered a Legally Blonde prequel series. Elle will tell the origin story of Elle Woods as a 1990s high schooler. It's executive-produced by Reese Witherspoon and Laura Kittrell (Insecure, High School) is series creator and showrunner.

* There will be a second season of Mr & Mrs Smith, although it apparently won't include Donald Glover and Maya Erskine.

* The Summer I Turned Pretty will return to Prime Video in 2025 with an extended 11-episode season.

* The Boys has been renewed for a fifth season. Season four is set to premiere June 13th.

* Nicholas Cage will be starring in the MGM+ series Noir, where he will be reprising the role that he previously voiced in the animated film Into the Spider-Verse. The show tells the story "of an aging and down on his luck private investigator (Cage) in 1930s New York, who is forced to grapple with his past life as the city’s one and only superhero."

* A sequel to Road House is on the way, with Jake Gyllenhaal reprising his leading role as Dalton. No word yet on whether director Doug Liman will be returning.

* After months of rumors, Amazon has officially announced it has ordered a live-action series based on Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Phoebe Waller-Bridge has signed on as the show’s writer and executive producer.

SOME HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE DISNEY UPFRONTS
Here are a few of the more important announcements from Disney's Upfront presentation:

* Hulu's Only Murders In The Building will return for season four on August 27th, with new episodes every Tuesday. 

* Jason Kelce will be an ESPN Monday Night Countdown commentator.

* Charlie Cox and Vincent D’Onofrio premiered footage from Daredevil: Born Again, which will premiere on Disney+ in March 2025.

* Hulu announced its very own stand-up brand, Hulu’s Laughing Now, which will feature a new comedy special each month. First up is Jim Gaffigan: The Skinny, which will premiere November 22nd.

* James Marsden plays a former U.S. president and Sterling K. Brown is his security man in the new Hulu series from Dan Fogelman entitled Paradise.

* The WandaVision spin-off series Agatha: Darkhold Diaries will premiere September 18th on Disney+.

* Road Diary: Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band, a new documentary chronicling Springsteen and company’s prep for their 2023-2024 World Tour, will premiere on Hulu and Disney+ in October.

* A Golden Bachelorette is coming featuring Joan Vassos, a former bachelorette on Golden Bachelor who left after week three due to a family emergency.

* Selena Gomez showed a photo from the new take on her old Disney Channel show called Wizards Beyond Waverly Place.

ODDS AND SODS
* Linda Martindale is unhappy with the new TV shows set to premiere this fall. And she has some ideas on what she'd like to see.

* Here is a rundown of interesting global TV stories from today.

* Welcome to Wrexham has been renewed for a fourth season.

* The HBO film The Great Lillian Hall will premiere Friday, May 31st on HBO.

* The CW Network announced it will be the broadcast home for 11 Pac-12 football games featuring Oregon State and Washington State during the upcoming 2024 season.

* The season 25 finale of The Voice will include performances by The Black Keys, Jelly Roll, Kate Hudson, Lainey Wilson, Muni Long, Thomas Rhett and Season 23 winner Gina Miles.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“All our content is available in one place — and also in multiple other places too.”

--Jimmy Kimmel, during the Disney Upfronts

WHAT'S NEW TONIGHT AND TOMORROW

TUESDAY, MAY 14TH:
* Doubling Down With The Derricos Season Premiere (TLC)
* Hostage Rescue Series Premiere (The CW)
* Pillowcase Murders (Paramount+)
* The Express Way With Dule Hill Season Finale (PBS)
* The Killing Kind Series Premiere (Hulu)
* The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 10th Anniversary Special (NBC)
* Vanderpump Rules Season Eleven Reunion (Bravo)
* Who's Afraid Of A Cheap Old House? Series Premiere (HGTV)

WEDNESDAY, MAY 15TH:
* Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal (Netflix)
* Botched Bariatrics Series Premiere (TLC)
* C.H.U.E.C.O. (Disney+)
* Ghost Adventures Season Premiere (Discovery)
* In The Kitchen With Harry Hamlin Series Premiere (AMC)
* Killer Cases Season Premiere (A&E)
* Murder At the Motel Series Premiere (Investigation Discovery)
* Royal Rules Of Ohio Series Premiere (Freeform)
* The Amazing Race Season Thirty-Six Finale (CBS)
* Uncle Samsik Series Premiere (Hulu)
* United Gangs Of America Series Premiere (Vice)

SEE YOU ON WEDNESDAY!