Too Much TV: Your TV Talking Points For Thursday, September 26th, 2024

The official hot rabbi TV show drinking game

Here's everything you need to know about the world of television for Thursday, September 26th, 2024:

THE OFFICIAL HOT RABBI SHOW DRINKING GAME
Whether or not you've watched the new Netflix series Nobody Wants This, you might be wondering how someone who is Jewish thinks of a show that is built around a "hot Rabbi." Well, one of my favorite Substacks -

Jewish TV Club

- provides a bit of an answer. Lior Zaltzman has posted a helpful guide for a "Official Hot Rabbi Show Drinking Game," and it tells you everything you need to know about the show:

• Drink every time someone actually says the words “hot rabbi”

• Drink every time someone says the word “shiksa” (I’m sorry to say, this alone is going to get you quite drunk)

• Drink every time Noah says something in Hebrew or Yiddish for no reason

• Drink every time someone says the word “Jewish” like it’s some kind of exotic bird

• Drink every time Bina calls her son “baby” (CRINGE)

• Drink every time you see a nice piece of Judaica

• Eat a bagel every time you see a bagel (you need to soak up all this alcohol!)

• Scoop some hummus every time an unattainable gorgeous kitchen is shown

• Nervously nibble every time you find yourself panicking about what the hell is going on with Sasha and Morgan

• Nosh every time you hear the word “podcast”

• Drink every time a tween says something cunning and devastating

• Drink every time Noah and Joanne say they're from "completely different worlds"

• Drink every time you're confused about what denomination of Judaism Noah and his family are

THE DEPARTMENT OF POINTLESS STREAMING METRICS
Both streamers as well as traditional linear networks are fond of sending out press releases that tout some out-of-context viewing number which sounds impressive but doesn't really provide a sense of whether it was in fact a big deal.

Why do they do that? Well, so they can grab some quick headlines in the trades like the one above, which is mostly a gentle rewrite of the original press release:

But let's be clear. We have no idea whether that number means anything. Here is the relevant passage from the press release:

Paramount+ today announced that Tulsa King’s season two premiere was streamed by 5.4M global active sub households in its first seven days on the service. 

So what is the definition of "active sub households?" <insert giant shrug> I'm assuming it refers to subscribers who are regular viewers, although we have no idea if that means "watched Paramount+ in the past week" or "watched Paramount+ twice in the last quarter."

Even more confusing, the last Paramount+ viewing press release I could find was for the theatrical release Knuckles, which used the metric "hours watched."

Honestly, just because a network sends you some press release, you are under no obligation to post a story about it. And it certainly doesn't qualify as "breaking" news. Sheesh.

ODDS AND SODS
* Tonight during the New York Giants & Dallas Cowboys game, Pluto TV is premiering a new commercial featuring veteran actor Gary Sinise dressed in a potato suit.

* Apparently this is odd commercial day, because there is also a new one featuring Succession actor Brian Cox encouraging office workers to step away from their desks.

* Here are the global TV and streaming video stories that should be on your radar for Thursday, September 26th, 2024.

* You'll need a subscription to The Ankler to read it, but the Entertainment Strategy Guy has a long piece on Disney's succession challenges as well as his thoughts on who should be running the company moving forward.

* It's another big day for trailers, including new ones for Hulu's stunning true crime documentary Fanatical: The Catfishing Of Tegan And Sara, and season two of the Apple TV+ series Shrinking.

* Newsmax announced in a press release today that it has "resolved the litigation brought by Smartmatic through a confidential settlement.” Which likely means they paid out some amount of money, but neither side wants to reveal the amount. So, less than Smartmatic wanted, but more than Newsmax was hoping to pay?

* HGTV's competition series (although, tbh, that describes 94% of its primetime schedule) Rock The Block is returning early next year. 

* In the category of "headlines I wish I hadn't seen," there is TMZ's Family Matters' Reginald VelJohnson denies attending a Sean "Diddy" Combs "freak off" sex party

* The Food Network reality show Harry Potter: Wizards Of Baking will debut on November 14th.

* Luke Bryan is exploring the hidden depths of Nashville in search of those hidden musical stories in the series It's All Country, which premieres Friday, November 15th on Hulu.

* The HBO/Channel 4 limited series Get Millie Black premieres on Monday, November 25th. Here is the official logline: "Ex-Scotland Yard detective Millie-Jean Black returns to Kingston to work missing persons cases, soon finding herself on a quest to save a sibling who won’t be saved, to find a child who can’t be found, to solve a case that will blow her world apart and prove almost as tough to crack as Millie Black."

WHAT'S NEW TONIGHT AND TOMORROW

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26TH:
* An Invisible Victim: The Eliza Samudio Case (Netflix)
* A True Gentlemen (Netflix)
* Bangkok Breaking: Heaven And Hell (Netflix)
* Crime Scene Kitchen Season Three Premiere (Fox) 
* Colin From Accounts Season Two Premiere (Paramount+)
* Defending Europe Series Premiere (NatGeo)
* Doctor Odyssey Series Premiere (ABC)
* Dreaming Of A Freaking Fairy Tale Series Premiere (Paramount+) 
* Everything Calls For Salvation (Netflix)
* Grey's Anatomy Season Twenty-One Premiere (ABC)
* Hell's Kitchen Season Twenty-Three Premiere (Fox)
* Killer Heat (Prime Video)
* Love On The Danube: Kissing Stars (Hallmark+)
* 9-1-1 Season Eight Premiere (ABC)
* Nobody Wants This Series Premiere (Netflix) 
* Previously Saved Version (Netflix)
* Tea Time Teddy Bears Series Premiere (Peacock)
* The Jane Mysteries: Too Much To Lose (Hallmark+)
* The Tower (BritBox)
* 2024 People’s Choice Country Awards (NBC)
* Wisting (Sundance Now)

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 27TH:
* Ayla & The Mirrors Series Premiere (Disney+)
* Apartment 7-A (Paramount+) 
* Dateline Season Thirty-Three Premiere (NBC)
* Gyeongseong Creature (Netflix)
* Lisabi: The Uprising (Netflix)
* Rez Ball (Netflix)
* She Taught Love (Hulu)
* Social Studies Series Premiere (FX)
* The Great British Baking Show Season Premiere (Netflix)
* 37th Hispanic Heritage Awards (PBS)
* We Were Kings Series Premiere (Netflix)
* Will & Harper (Netflix)
* Wolfs (Apple TV+)

SEE YOU ON FRIDAY!